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Category Archives: Caring

A license to preach

02 Saturday May 2015

Posted by chaplines2014 in Caring, Words

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A License to Preach

3 Owls

When does a person run out of things to say? Oh, there are plenty of times in conversations when there is a lull, no one knowing quite where to go from the last comments, but after a few moments we think of something to talk about. And there are those moments when the talk comes abruptly to a full stop, because the “last word” has been spoken on a particular topic, and the next words must either change the subject or plunge into deeper turmoil. There is usually something to be say.

When I first started to preach, at age 16, receiving a Methodist Local Preacher’s License, I couldn’t imagine not having something to say. There was a rather full Bible. There was a four thousand year history of Abraham’s children to draw from. There was my own “vast” experience as a teenager, and later young adult, and still later….  After all I had a “license” and people were willing to have me preach. To fill ten to twenty minutes of sermon time started as a challenge, but after getting started it rarely was a problem for me. For my listeners on the other hand….

After more than fifty years the question is still not one of running out of material or topics. I have no trouble filling three hours of class time in one evening session at the local community college. The question of value persists. What difference does all this talk make? Who is listening? Who is really paying attention? When do we reach the heart of the matter? Or is it so much fluff and unimportant irrelevant detail? Where is the good in all this talk? Will people recognize it when they hear it? Will they remember it?

Maya Angelou, who often had profound things to say, in well-chosen words, said, “I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”  This is more than the “medium is the message” of McLuhan’s theme, which itself seems more valid now with all the technical options available for communication than it was in the 1960’s.

I have mostly stopped making speeches during the last eight years. In writing and editing students’ words I haven’t stopped reworking vocabulary to say things in the simplest way, eliminating passive verbs and being verbs, trying to touch emotional nerves without rubbing them raw, detecting where we have hidden the meanings rather than revealing them. I have been listening to preaching and powerful speaking and taken time to remember the many times speakers and writers have moved me in different ways with different voices. Not simply informed or entertained, but made me alive.

Parables are a part of this search for meaning beyond the words. More on this later….

Running for the spite of it

25 Saturday Apr 2015

Posted by chaplines2014 in Caring, Running

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Serendipity

IMG_0002

I never enjoyed running. Walking was a pleasure. Running was a chore. I hadn’t learned to pace myself. I only knew how to run as fast as I could until soon I was out of breath and hurting. When my cardiologist said that I needed to engage in aerobic exercise for 45 minutes almost every day, I took his judgment as a painful life sentence.

If he hadn’t presented it as a choice between life and death, I wouldn’t have taken the challenge seriously. If the heart pain, palpitations, and the other symptoms had not convinced me that I was dying, I would not have undertaken the agony of learning how to run. As it was, running was painful, forcing me to depend on nitroglycerin for relief and face my mortality every time I exercised. The first steps were to alternate running and walking for short distances, learn how to run slower and walk faster, breathe more deeply and concentrate more on exhaling then inhaling, keep moving even when I felt I must stop, and fight for consciousness when I was blacking out. Of course the weather did not allow running every day. Fortunately aerobic exercise tapes and videos had become popular and provided a workout equally as miserable. As the months passed my endurance grew with the distance that I covered. I always exceeded the target heart rate. At times I was so dizzy that I could barely stay upright.  Especially during the heat of summer, Dr. John reminded me that electrolytes  go out of balance with profuse sweating, and that helped to explain the nausea and vomiting that I frequently experienced.

I continued to run and exercise, enjoying an occasional day off. Nonetheless the benefits of running were accumulating, with growing endurance, breath control, pain control, and the pleasure of getting the workout done. I did not know the meaning of a “runner’s high,” but I did know the feeling of accomplishment.  As the emotional stresses of everyday work also continued, the physical exercise provided the outlet that I had lacked, and the daily break that often put events and relationships in perspective. Running was as good as prayer. Running was prayer, since I had to pray as I ran, using phrases like “run and not grow weary, walk and not faint,” just to keep running, even when I did grow weary and faint.

Thirty-two years later, with many difficult events in between, I am still running. My heart is still beating, not so well sometimes but usually without long episodes of uncertainty. My angina is stable most of the time. Aspirin and nitroglycerin are still the best medicines ever discovered. And I do not enjoy running. I run in order to live.

The Consolation of Being Lost in the Right Place

23 Thursday Apr 2015

Posted by chaplines2014 in Caring, People

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A License to Preach, Serendipity, Synchronicity

Luna moth

Out of the Streator hospital with the newest calcium channel blocker, I was on my way to see a cardiologist in Pekin. No cardiologist was serving at Streator at the time, and my GP, Dr. John, referred me to Dr. Riaz Akhtar at Pekin, 45 minutes in the opposite direction. I hadn’t been to Pekin in many years and never knew my way around the city, so I got lost. (This was many years before Garmin and GPS, but I did have a little Pekin map.) Jan was not with me on this first visit, she was in school, and, after having survived three events in which I expected to die, another stress treadmill and echocardiogram sounded easy enough to do by myself.

Finding my way around Pekin was not easy, though, and I pulled into the cemetery along the main highway, to look again at the map. There was no parking along the busy highway, and the cemetery provided no traffic and easy parking. I scanned the cemetery, and was surprised to see a familiar name, Glen Sims.

The Sims family was my prior connection to Pekin, and I had visited them there twenty years previously. Before going to Pekin, Glen Sims had been my pastor, and he continued to be my mentor through my years of college and first year of seminary, until a malignant brain tumor suddenly ended his life fifteen years before. That was when I had last been there, in that spot, though I had no memory of where it was. I had just came upon the place when I was lost. Beyond my parents and wife, no one had influenced my life more. I missed no one more. Since events had brought me unexpectedly to this place, and I still had enough time to make my appointment, it seemed a propitious time for him and me to have a conversation, tearful and refreshing. He always had that effect on me, a mixture of tenderness and joy.

Afterward I drove straight to Dr. Akhtar’s office. After the tests, and at a later appointment, Dr. Akhtar gave his advice. He was a no-nonsense cardiologist. My moderate exercise and diet and propensity to let events control my schedule, instead of my doing so, must change. I must gradually build up my heart like any muscle, since it was woefully inefficient as it was.  I must live on a low fat, low carbohydrate diet, no caffeine, no alcohol, and I must run or swim, not walk, six days out of seven, for at least forty-five minutes, or else. Or else, what? They could put in a new heart valve, but he wouldn’t recommend it, since they would have to do it again within a few years, and life would not improve without these other changes anyway. Fortunately he didn’t expect me to jump into running immediately. He advised that I enter into that exercise slowly and steadily, under Dr. John’s care, since he happened to be a runner also. And the other “or else?” A rule of thumb, he said—seven years of experiences like yours and you can expect to be dead, if you’re lucky.

I was very glad to have had that conversation with Glen Sims.

The Surprising Gift of Healing Touch

22 Wednesday Apr 2015

Posted by chaplines2014 in Caring, People

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A License to Preach

3 OwlsAfter four years of relatively stable health, using the mantra of moderation in exercise (mostly walking and bicycling), eating, drinking, and scheduling, I found myself in midwinter trying to fit too many things into a few days when a snowstorm hit. My little Chevette slid into a snowbank, and, being such a little car, I thought I could push it out by myself. That didn’t work. A farmer’s tractor did the job. For several days afterward the physical stress increased, until one night I was again in full-blown distress. It was a night of ice, snow, and wind. Our home in Minonk was thirty miles from the nearest hospital, and driving ourselves was out of the question.

Jan called the local ambulance squad. Two friends, Paul and Jim, responded, with oxygen, monitors, and radio, ready to make the trip, usually thirty minutes, this time more than an hour. Jan stayed home with the children. I prayed and meditated, hoping that the wild pounding of my heart, sometimes racing, sometimes taking an alarming break, would become more regular.

By the time we arrived at Streator, I was much quieter and wondering if we should have just stayed home. My blood pressure and pulse were abnormally high, my oxygen level low, my lungs sounded full, and the ER doctor said he heard a loud “click and blow murmur” that could bear some watching, so he reassured me that I had come to the right place. Again, the blood tests, oxygen mask, IV’s, unknown medicines (no penicillin!), standard protocols. The worst part was being away from my wife and family, knowing that the roads would be closed to traffic for the next day or two, but thankful for the telephone to reassure each other.

The next day went slowly but uneventfully, with stats moving steadily in the direction of normal. Toward evening, into the hospital room came Jan, accompanied by Leslie Barth, one of the Minonk gentlemen who always did more than expected. Leslie was a large, good-natured man, a farmer, who had a suitably large, four-wheel-drive pickup truck with a snowblade attached. He had heard of our predicament and volunteered to bring Jan to Streator.

There were several helping hands during that trip and that hospital stay, not least of all Jan’s, but the most memorable touch that moved me came from the large, warm, gentle hands of Leslie Barth, when he took hold of my cold feet, as they stuck out at the end of the light hospital blanket. He held my feet and warmed them, and his warmth filled me, as he told me to get well, take my time, not to worry about work that other people could do while I was recovering, and remember that I was loved, respected, and wanted by him and many others. Thank you, Leslie, for that and more.

Hospital #2 and the Nurse Who Knew

21 Tuesday Apr 2015

Posted by chaplines2014 in Caring, People

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A License to Preach, Serendipity

Monkeys see, hear, speak no evil, Bangra.comDischarged from the hospital, with a clean bill of health as far as bloodwork and the upper and lower GI tests could show, and scheduled in a week  for a cardio-stress test at the hospital across town, I went home with my doctor’s instruction to check back in if the symptoms returned. Five days later in the evening I asked my wife to drive me to the other hospital, where my tests were scheduled, after a few hours of increasing chest pain and arrhythmias, breathing difficulty, dizziness, sweating and nausea. I wasn’t ready to ask my fellow rescue squad volunteers to take me. A fellow has his pride, after all.

The ER doctor checked me in, encouraging me with his words that my heart sounded like a train speeding clickety-clack down the track. It felt that way too. He sent me to a regular room where I proceeded to get worse. In the middle of the night the nurse came in with the news that my doctor had given some orders at last.

No heparin this time, nor intravenous nitroglycerin.  He wanted to know how I handled a regular dose of nitro, in the little tabs under the tongue, up to three if I did not get relief right away. I took three in a few minutes succession, and felt much better. Miraculously better, I thought. There was also something to settle my stomach, which I took, although it already was feeling better.

The nurse sat down at my bedside and told me about her experience with nitro. She told me that she had angina that was stable and benign most of the time, unstable when she became overly tired or stressed, and she used nitro tabs when she needed them. Her situation might not be like mine at all, only tests would tell, but she wanted me to know that people lived with that condition, and it was a good sign that I had responded so well.

When I went home that time, with nitro tabs and beta-blockers, and still non-committal comments from my doctors, until that postponed stress test and more time had passed, the most helpful conversation was that one in the middle of the night with a nurse who had her own experience and the audacity to share it. Her casual suggestions about work pacing, stress relief, rest, limiting caffeine intake, and trusting that answers would be found proved to be the timely help that was needed.

My total experience of being visited by a minister in a hospital

19 Sunday Apr 2015

Posted by chaplines2014 in Caring, People

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A License to Preach

Monkeys see, hear, speak no evil, Bangra.comThirty-five years ago, at the age of thirty-three, my symptoms of heart failure were severe enough to send me to the local hospital for a day in the intensive care unit and a couple more days of observation. As a substitute for a vacation or a few days off, I do not recommend the experience. The challenge of it arose, not so much from the repeated punctures and the shaving of my hairy chest for the required tests, nor the problem of trying to rest when one is awakened every hour by a nurse, but mostly from the anxiety and uncertainty about what would become of my wife and two small children if their breadwinner would lose his job and his life. I was then a minister serving a small but growing church. There was plenty to think about at the time.

While I was in the hospital a fellow minister came to call. This was my first and only time to be visited by a minister while I was in a hospital. For three previous surgeries I was mostly unconscious and did not “have” a minister nearby. I had many experiences of visiting people in hospitals by that time, but none of being visited. He was, shall we say, a very traditional pastor. He had a routine that involved a greeting, a reading from the Psalms (He read Psalm 146 to me. I did not know why, and he did not wait for me to ask why he had chosen it. I just wondered afterward if there was some hidden message that he had for me.) When he finished the Psalm, he started to pray—for me, I think—though I did not remember afterward what he prayed, because I was still thinking about the Psalm. Then he said good-bye, and exited the room.

There were a million things I wanted to talk about, but I decided then it would probably not be with him. His routine and the reasons for it were probably honed over his many years of experience, and he may have been trying to be very considerate of my needs for quiet, undisturbed by the emotions or exertions of conversation about my precarious situation. A month later, after I had returned to my daily schedule, I met him in the course of course of our common duties. We talked about nothing in particular, as if nothing had happened.

Making it to the hairdresser in a spring blizzard

31 Tuesday Mar 2015

Posted by chaplines2014 in Caring, Death, People, Seasons

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A License to Preach, events, The Volunteer Fire and Rescue Squad

purple butterfly

The snowstorm was one of those late season avalanches, in March of 1976, interrupting everyone’s expectations of what should be coming. The blooms of daffodils and forsythia  should be just around the corner, and everyone should be getting ready for spring garden parties and Easter egg hunts. Instead, two feet of wet snow clogged the streets and brought school schedules, traffic, factory production, business and everything else to a halt.

The siren of the local volunteer fire department and rescue squad alerted me to the mid-day need, when ministers and third shift workers were usually the only ones available to respond. Who knew who could show up today? Driving the car three blocks to the station was out of the question. Running would have to do. Fortunately the high carriage of the rescue truck would plow through the snow-filled streets better than most other vehicles. I met Mike and Bill at the station, we jumped into our gear, and headed  a mile east of the station, to a beauty salon from which the emergency call had come.

A block and a half short of the salon we came to a halt in a snow bank in the middle of the street. We bailed out of the truck, hauled our emergency gear cases, and trudged as fast as we could to the salon. The hairdresser-beauty operator met us at the door, frantic and near hysterical.

In the middle of the salon floor, flat on her back, lay a lovely woman, in her mid-thirties, neatly dressed in a spring dress, her skin shading to gray and blue, not breathing.  She had rushed several blocks through the snow to make her weekly hair appointment, arrived on time, and, after removing her light coat, but before she had a chance to sit in the salon chair, she had collapsed. How long had it been? To my mind it had been at least ten minutes from the time that the siren had blown, but who had kept track? When had she stopped breathing?

Bill was the old hand among us, but he had a cold, so giving advice and communicating by radio and telephone was his appropriate role. We had to proceed with checking her clear airway, beginning artificial respiration, and chest compressions, as we were trained to do in those days. Mike took the first turn in mouth to mouth, and I alternated with him, both of us losing the contents of our stomachs sometime during the next hour of intimate contact, with no response.

Bill tried valiantly to arrange for a snowplow and another ambulance to come in tandem, but in the end the best that he could get was the funeral director’s station wagon following the snowplow, after we had given up on the principle that “having started CPR, one did not stop.”

She had a husband and two young children. She was about the same age as Mike and I. What could possibly have been so important about her beauty appointment that she pushed herself through the snow for events that would most certainly be cancelled during the days to come, except for her own funeral? Neither Mike nor I were feeling particularly healthy at that point, not that we regretted trying to revive her, but everything we had done certainly proved futile.

That was how we prepared for spring, and Easter, that year. In the face of such futility and pointless death, we had to insist that sometime, somewhere, there had to be a point to our foolish living. We would look for it. Maybe we would find it.

Bessie Coen returns to Charleston to take care of children

18 Wednesday Mar 2015

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Carl and Bessie- True Friends

Bessie Coen Bessie Coen

Charleston, Nov. 25, 1913 [Mr. Carl Warfel, Rose Hill] 

Dear Friend,

Vena and I have been thinking for quite a while, that we would write you a few lines, but kept putting it off and have not written; and now we are going to write you a Thanksgiving letter. I am at Charleston now. I’ve been sewing for Vena and Belle and we have been having some good times. Tonight there are eight children here, all under twelve years of age, and Vena and I have been entertaining them, while their parents are gone to the Opera. 

We have been making fudge and popping corn. They certainly seem to be enjoying themselves. I am so glad that we can make them happy. Vena and I sure had a grand time when we were down at your house, last July. I was working at a dress-maker’s shop here in Charleston, then we moved to Mattoon and I had to quit work and have not been working away from home since then. I do not like Mattoon, but I try to be satisfied, for it is so much better for papa, as he works there all the time. 

Well I must close, for there will be no room for Vena to write. This is so near Thanksgiving that we should be thankful for many things and most of all for all things good. I hope this will find you and all the rest well. Best wishes to all. Please answer. From Bessie Coen.

Cancer for the Holidays…1978

17 Wednesday Dec 2014

Posted by chaplines2014 in Caring, Events, Seasons

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A License to Preach

Hanukkah menora 1Mom called me on Tuesday, December 12, 1978. I had taken my family to Paxton to visit with them the previous Friday. She sounded a bit weaker than usual. First, she reported that Dad had been diagnosed with prostate cancer, but not to worry, his doctor was very encouraging. No surgery, just hormone treatments.

Then she dropped the bombshell. She was in Burnham City Hospital, recovering from a complete hysterectomy. Her doctor had found cancer in her as well, and they had scheduled the surgery immediately. “I am fine,” she said.

“Why didn’t you tell me Friday?” I wanted to ask, but knew better than to say it.

She continued anyway, “I knew you were busy getting everything ready for services and lots of people needing you. I wanted to be able to tell you about this when everything was settled. The doctor gave me the good news—he thinks they took care of it with the surgery.”

“That’s good to hear. I’ll be there in two hours,” I said.

“You don’t need…” she started.

“I’ll be there in two hours. I love you,” I said, firmly. The conversation went on for a few more moments, but apart from her “I love you, too” response, and her apology for not being able to gather the family for the holidays, I do not remember more.

When we met in her hospital room, she still wanted to talk about the family gathering. “I was ready for everyone to come. Maybe we can get together later, maybe in March.”

I tried to reassure her that March would be fine. Jesus was born in the spring or summer anyway, when the shepherds were in the fields with the sheep. We prayed together for her and Dad’s healing and for some of the other people who always were her concern. I saw her again before her discharge, and everything was going well, except for her sadness about the family get-together. On the next Friday, the 22nd, we went to Paxton again, carrying a small Christmas tree and a small Hanukkah menorah. We started lighting the candles. “A great miracle happened here,” we said on the first candle, “You both found the cancer early and have done quickly what you needed to do to treat it.”

The family gathered around the tree in March and celebrated Christmas. For the next Christmas Eve, their 45th Wedding Anniversary, we celebrated with a surprise reception in their honor, with many friends and family members coming together. Mother lived twelve more years, Dad another twenty-seven, in relatively good health.

a Christmas angel…named Debbie

14 Sunday Dec 2014

Posted by chaplines2014 in Caring, People, Seasons

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A License to Preach, Serendipity, Synchronicity

Once in a while on vacation we see something that reminds us of people back home, and if it would make a nice gift and we can afford it we buy it for them. This was the case when we saw the pottery angel oil lamps, about 250 of them, arranged layer by layer in a Christmas tree-shaped display at Otis Zark’s (O.Zark, get it?) down in Arkansas. Our friend Debbie collects angels. Not only that, she has frequently been an angel, and quite generous with us, so Jan and I said to each other, “Let’s get one of those for Debbie. She needs another angel.” (Need is relative, isn’t it? Probably Debbie has enough angels to supply all of us, but this was, well, a different kind.)

So we examined the angels for the prettiest and the sweetest looking one to match our friend. We narrowed it down to five, then made our decision, picked it up, bought it, put it in an official O. Zark box, and carried it home. Later we passed it on to our friend Debbie, who was suitably appreciative. Only later did we learn a bit more about the gift.

Debbie took the boxed angel home, of course. She read on the box how each angel had a different name, and you could find the name of your angel inscribed on the back of its neck. She found the name of her angel. It was “Debbie.”

Debbie mentioned to us when we next saw her that she appreciated the “fact” that we had searched for an angel that had her name. But we didn’t, we said. We only looked for the prettiest and sweetest one that we could find. “You mean you didn’t know that the angel you gave me was named Debbie?”

No, we didn’t know. But obviously someone did. Someone does keep track of such things. Not me. And this time it wasn’t Jan either.

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